PLOWING THRU: MARRIAGE TRENDS

 “[W]e recognize the signs of change. The rising median age of first marriage, now 27 for women and 29 for men, is linked to a rapid rise in cohabitation prior to marriage and a dramatic increase in the number of children born outside of marriage. A growing number of couples, both young and old, now live together with no plans to marry eventually. For first marriages recently formed, between 40 and 50 percent are likely to end in divorce. The divorce rate for remarriages is higher than that for first marriages."

(The State of Our Unions Marriage in America 2012; President’s Marriage Agenda for the ForgottenSixty Percent).

A moment in time, snapshot

- 
Snowflakes are fragile, and fascinating.

Tiny flakes magnified against slick windbreaker. 

A single snowflake falls softly.

Paper Model

Floating down, almost unnoticed, it seems to matter little.

Isolated, single 3D snowflake, 

A societal trend toward divorce, starting in 1960 seemed, at first, like seeing a few flakes – of no lasting consequence.

Magnification on fleece near jacket zipper.

And a few single flakes little affect most.

Complex, yet individually different,
floating so lightly that a point-and-shoot photo shows structure

Seeing them, just those few flakes, laying about harmlessly – on my jacket or car – easily swept from my porch, I may ignore impending realities. 

On the car, mostly melting as they touch down.

Snowflakes can accumulate, however, and obscure perception.

Sometimes snowflakes begin unexpectedly after a single cold night, just a few at a time, but as days change to weeks, and weeks to months, the cold of winter arrives - changing everything.

Piles and piles of snowflakes broken into individual 'feathers,' each a part of an exquisite original.  

I must make conscious, consistent efforts to clean walks and clear driveways to maintain safety and mobility.

“The State of Our Unions Marriage in America 2012,” a joint publication of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values notes:

     “[S]omething astonishing has happened. In ‘Middle America,’ defined here as the nearly 60 percent of Americans aged 25 to 60 who have a high school but not a four-year college degree, marriage is rapidly slipping away (p.2),” and “living together is even more unstable than marriage, especially for children, and the pain of breakups does not appear to be much mitigated if no marriage vow was made in the first place (p.28).”

State of Our Unions Marriage in America 2012; Social Indicators of Health and Well-being; Divorce 

America as a whole, has startling statistics quietly drifting into potentially mountainous problems. Where are the plows?

Religious leaders worldwide are taking note. And speaking out.

Porch sign being buried into oblivion.

Marriage matters. Divorce, cohabitation, and single parenting erode well-being of children and adults.

Shoveling to clear snow before it becomes compacted ice prevents problems.

At the November 18, 2014  Vatican Summit, “The Complementarity of Man and Woman; An International Interreligious Colloquium,” a translation of Pope Francis’ address reminded all listening that men and women both contribute vital benefits to marriage and family life.

He said, “I would like to begin by sharing with you a reflection on the title of your colloquium. You must admit that “complementarity” does not roll lightly off the tongue! Yet it is a word into which many meanings are compressed. It refers to situations where one of two things adds to, completes, or fulfills a lack in the other. . . .
"Yet complementarity is more than this. Christians find its deepest meaning in . . . work[ing] together for the good of the whole-everyone’s gifts can work together for the benefit of each. (cf. 1 Cor. 12). To reflect upon “complementarity” is nothing less than to ponder the dynamic harmonies at the heart of all Creation. This is a big word, harmony. All complementarities were made by our Creator, so the Author of harmony achieves this harmony.

Pope Francis, 266th and current Pope of the Roman Catholic Church 

“[T]he complementarity of man and woman . . . is a root of marriage and family.
. . . [W]e know, families give rise to tensions: between egoism and altruism, reason and passion, immediate desires and long-range goals. But families also provide frameworks for resolving such tensions. This is important. When we speak of complementarity between man and woman in this context, let us not confuse that term with the simplistic idea that all the roles and relations of the two sexes are fixed in a single, static pattern. Complementarity will take many forms as each man and woman brings his or her distinctive contributions to their marriage and to the formation of their children — his or her personal richness, personal charisma. Complementarity becomes a great wealth. It is not just a good thing but it is also beautiful” (Pope Francis).

President Henry B. Eyring of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

During the Colloquium, invited speaker President Henry B Eyring, counselor in the first presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, remarked: “a man and a woman, united in marriage, have a transcendent power to create happiness for themselves, for their family, and for the people around them.” Reading from“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” he reminded all listening that martial and family duties are sacred, and called for a “renaissance” of happy marriages.

Occasionally sudden fierce storms may force flurries to pile into every crevice and cranny. Action is needed, notice must be taken, and even potential emergencies declared so that broad societal and government policies and contingency plans may prevent widespread harm.

But, blustering blizzards with gale force winds or fluctuating temperatures may envelop homes or communities with the weights of ice or snow that down trees, destroy power grids, and immobilize whole populations.

Experts are forewarning America and the world of approaching disaster.

Penn State behavioral scientist and sociologist Dr. Paul R. Amato, in multiple meta-analyses with various collaborators, examines overall marriage and family trends in his 2005 article, “The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation."

Amato describes a growing cultural divide of overall well-being between children of two married parents and children in step families, or of divorced, cohabiting, or single parents. The latter categories all having “lower average levels of cognitive, social, and emotional well-being,” with effects lasting “well into adulthood” (p.77).

“The State of Our Unions Marriage in America 2012,” quoting Amato and others, declares “[T]oday the greatest source of inequality in America is not economic but cultural, stemming from millions of Americans losing touch with founding virtues. (p.8).”

 “[M]arried couples on average build greater wealth than single persons do …. [It] stands to reason that stable families with two parents and two potential earners will have greater resources to weather bad times and to enjoy good times . . . (p.28).

Daily diligence is needed in stormy weather to keep pathways clear.

Does one choice matter?
It seems so insignificantly small.
Do the actions of one person make a difference? 

Amato offered this insight and suggestion:

     “Increasing the share of adolescents living with two biological parents to the 1970 level . . . would mean that 643,264 fewer children would repeat a grade. Increasing the share of adolescents in two-parent families to the 1960 level suggests that nearly three-quarters of a million fewer children would repeat a grade. Similarly, increasing marital stability to its 1980 level would result in nearly half a million fewer children suspended from school, about 200,000 fewer children engaging in delinquency or violence, a quarter of a million fewer children receiving therapy, about a quarter of a million fewer smokers, about 80,000 fewer children thinking about suicide, and about 28,000 fewer children attempting suicide” (p.13).

Storms, winter 2017, layered heavy ice onto every surface repeatedly, requiring removal after each storm - removal by persistently breaking the hazard into manageable bits! 

“[E]ven small, incremental changes that improve the health of marriage in America will reduce suffering for children and their families and will yield significant cost savings for taxpayers (The State of Our Unions Marriage in America 2012m Executive Summary, pp. xi-xii)

We have a good snow shovel and an ice breaker. This winter we needed good tools when ice storms battered our community. Sadly, we had a few icy storms in the house too! We weathered the harsh winter by being prepared. Habits, promoting togetherness, help us turn to God and each other seeking solutions. And we asked for help, too. Having trusted resources can provide a safety net.

Cheery young neighbors repeatedly offered to shovel as we chipped at ice to remove danger chunk by chunk. 

Every individual and every family must become aware, more prepared and more diligent.

Spencer W. Kimball, a Latter-day Saint (Mormon) Prophet looked to by millions, warned in October 1980, “The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.”

Building, or even rebuilding, a family requires effort. Children need fathers and mothers. We all need stable, happy marriage and family relationships.

References

Amato, P. (2005). The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation. The Future of Children, 15(2), 75-96. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/3556564 

President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, Nov 1980, 4

§       State of Our Unions2012; The National Marriage Project. 

DOES MARRIAGE MATTER?

A new semester. A new class: FAML 300 MARRIAGE. 

I love the clean simplicity of plain bands.

Marriage! How does someone with a spouse effectively discuss such a topic deeply unless their spouse is also privy to the discussion? As I begin this course I realize this semester will change who I am, and may critically affect my attitudes and behaviors.

My spouse likes more elaborate things.
But compromises can be worked out. 

In fairness to my spouse, I explain what I am seeing and feeling, and offer to share course materials if he is willing to join me in reading and discussing topics. He had already been perusing my text books. He thought they looked interesting – or are they merely intimidating?

If my spouse were reading Dr. H Wallace Goddard’s, “Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage,” without me, I suspect I could find that somewhat intimidating. And Dr. John M. Gottman’s, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” would certainly cause me to be somewhat suspicious of how the book might affect my spouse’s attitudes and behavior.

The lead course designer provided a page of reading material about the importance of marriage and asked students to reflect on, and respond to four questions as part of an online discussion with other class members.

The basic requirement for Discussion Board posts and replies is supposed to be 350 to 600 words. I whipped out a sentence or two for each question and posted it, but after reviewing the syllabus I realized I needed to be more thoughtful to be able to meet that word count. Strangely, (for me at least), I really struggled to build the required word length.

I've never attempted to articulate such deep beliefs and feelings before. 

The forced process actually helped me realize how shallow my answers had been and to think more deeply about the meaning of marriage. This course requires me to publicly share a very closely held part of my core being and beliefs. I'm having to decide if I am OK with that. I thought about dropping out. 

AVOID SOCIAL WITHDRAWAL

But then I considered the message of our new BYUI President and his wife, Henry J. & Kelly C. Eyring from their first devotional to students Tuesday. "Hello, My Friend," discusses our need to reach out to others and avoid the "temptation" to withdraw socially. I am deeply intrigued by the doctrines they taught.  

I'm still unsure about many things. 

Nonetheless, I am jumping in, even if I must learn to swim.

MY MARRIAGE MEANINGS

Here's my 350 'ish' words ...

•  What meaning does marriage have for you? What does it represent?

Marriage is an ideal pattern to develop and promote becoming more like God the Father, our Heavenly Father. For me it represents a core longing to be more than I now am.

Ideally, marriage unites two individuals in physical, spiritual, and emotional ways so they are able to gain and magnify strengths, and minimize or overcome weakness or error.

• What meaning does marriage have within your family?

Marriage in my family is viewed as a permanent commitment, and a covenant relationship with each other and with God. 

My paternal grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary, 1961

My ancestors generally modeled enduring marriages lasting their entire life time.

My maternal grandparents - 60 years, 1986

• 
  In what way has your family influenced your views about marriage?

My family’s examples of stable enduring marriage influence me to build and strengthen my own marriage and family. Although we are imperfect human beings, and some family members lack real stability or enduring relationships, true principles are both modeled and taught.

The expectation is pervasive even though application is not always successful. These expectations and teachings also develop a greater support network than might be otherwise available. If a relationship is breaking down, family members are more likely to encourage solutions versus giving up or quitting.

Family members, especially those like parents who are turned to for trusted advice, will help couples turn to each other instead of away from each other, promote patience, and will encourage considering many potentially positive options— Is there another view? a different interpretation? or possible remedy?

• How do you think your views about marriage will affect your own marriage?

In my opinion, we live in a throw-away, disposable society accustomed to instant gratification. If more divorcing couples believed they would be alone and lonely for the remainder of their lives perhaps they would reconsider, or figure out other options. Too many may be driven toward dysfunction or divorce by friends or family reinforcing petty grievances and encouraging selfishness or pride.

Some seem to believe a new and ‘better’ or ‘happier’ relationship will soon be available if they simply discard the present partner. They haven’t truly committed their all to their spouse, and constantly consider replacement models as if continuously ‘shopping.’ For them, is marriage a mere commodity custom-ordered on whims?

Believing marriage is an enduring, eternal partnership increases my willingness to re-evaluate, grow, learn, repent, and forgive—and to allow my spouse and others to do so also. It helps to view all events, experiences and marital ups-and-downs with more long term attitudes and assessments.

WORK - PRAYING

In 2011, our 5 year old granddaughter called every so often.
 She always asked for her Papa.
He was usually 'at work'.

She always asked why.  I told her he gets the money to pay for food and for gas in our car so we can drive to see her.  She seemed satisfied with that.  He works. Good things come from work.  That was OK for her.  It is OK for me too. Thanks Papa.  I like having a house.  I like good food.  I especially like to visit family.

In March 2011,while listening to a CES fireside, I heard L. Tom Perry say,
"Prayer is a form of work ..."

His statement caught my mind with force
and completely engaged my attention.
Prayer is a form of work???
I don't remember ever hearing it put quite that way.

And then he continued ...
"and is an appointed means
for obtaining the highest of all blessings."

I was astounded.
I wrote it on my bathroom mirror.
(I will tell you about the mirror another day.)

Prayer - like moving rocks?
Prayer - like digging out weeds?
(Did you ever let clover go to seed in a flower bed?)

Prayer - like separating grass roots from Irises rhizomes?
Prayer - like vacuuming? or dishes? or laundry?
Prayer - like a job? like every day? for hours?

When his talk was available I listened again so that I could be sure I was quoting it correctly. I was astonished again and felt a tiny bit foolish when I found a footnote next to his statement that indicated it came from the Bible Dictionary [page 753] in the King James LDS Bible.

I wonder greatly that I have never understood this.
Surely I have read it - probably more than once.

Perhaps studying my scriptures is another bit of 'work'.

Hmmm ...

I'll 'work' on that -
along with a few other things
AND prayer!!

FDWLD 201: HAMLET

Relate course themes of Redemption, Moral Truths, and a Just Society to Shakespeare's play Hamlet.

Hamlet’s World 

         Readers live in Hamlet’s world, a world of chaos and confusion with philosophies of conflicting values pulling some, like Hamlet, against the edges of madness with unanswered questions. Is God real? Does he guide man? Does life continue after death? Is mortality more than living, dying, and rotting to become part of earth?  Can I know? “What is man… but to sleep and feed?” asks Hamlet with inner turmoil, as he ponders man’s creation and ability to reason (Shakespeare, p.101, 4.4.33-5). Using reason and inspiration given by his maker, Hamlet concludes “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends” (p.130, 5.2.10).  Despite his mother’s cajoling to remember “all that lives must die” and pass “through nature… [in]to dust” (p.12, 1.2.71-3), and the foreshadowing counsel of his step-father uncle regarding the “common theme [in life, that] is death of fathers” (p.13, 1.2.103-4), Hamlet inherently understands that he and all people have within something everlasting. He asks, “What should be the fear… for my soul… being a thing immortal as [the ghost] itself” (p.26, 1.4.64-7)? Though difficult, Hamlet comes to accept and reference the reality of seeing the apparition of his father. Speaking for Shakespeare, to all who read or hear his words (and later for Hamlet as a witness against doubt), the ghost presents that despite every man passing through death, the spirit of man yet rises and lives.

      In the mouths of his characters, multiple times throughout the play Hamlet, Shakespeare witnesses the supremacy of God, and the immortality of souls, as well as the need for souls to seek reconciliation (redemption) with God through repentance, that being a change from wickedness in life—“Till the foul crimes (sins) done in [the] days of nature are burnt and purged away” (Ghost of King Hamlet, p.28, 1.5.12-13). After King Hamlet’s death, as Prince Hamlet mourns the “weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable…world” (p.14, 1.2.133-4) of life without his father, he also affirms the existence of God as he resists a suicidal urge: “O that… the Everlasting had not fixed His canon (law) ‘gainst self-slaughter” (p.14, 1.2.131-2). Through Prince Hamlet’s interactions with his father’s ghost, the existence of souls after death and their ability to escape the “sepulcher” (p.26, 1.4. 48) for ongoing existence (whether in happiness or misery unknown) is affirmed, even though the fate of all to return to earth is rehearsed as ‘common.’ Hamlet eulogizes the similarity of beggars with even the greatest men, as maggots transform them by the cycles of nature whereby “A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm… [showing] how a king may go a progress through the guts of a beggar” (p.98, 4.3.27-31), or

Imperious Caesar, dead and turned to clay,

Might stop a hole to keep the wind away.

Oh, that that earth, which kept the world in awe,

Should patch a wall t' expel the winter’s flaw! (p.126, 5.1.215-19) 

         Ophelia’s loss of reason during grief belies the moral truths she speaks about chastity and virtue as valuable for men and women (p.21, 1.3.45-51; p.104, 4.5.52-66), and the veracity of her witness that “we know what we are, but know not what we may be” (p.104, 4.5.43-4). Faced with Ophelia’s demise, and many declaring dust is the only and final end, Hamlet’s reason wavers (depicting the doubt any reasoning person may face). Pondering such future possibilities in the well known soliloquy “To be, or not to be” (p.63, 3.1.56) Prince Hamlet eventually reiterates that the unknown qualities of life after death are the “undiscovered country” encouraging all to “rather bear with those ills we have, than fly to others we know not of” (p.64, 3.1.79, 81-2). Although all truth isn’t known, each person has some light and must make choices based on the truth possessed.

             The understandings that all life is precious, and raw murder unacceptable, prevail as the body count reaches for the new understanding that every death is a sorrow, and noticed to God. Hamlet alludes to this truth when he tells Horatio, “We defy augury [the omen’s of the future]. There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow” (p.137, 5.2.220-1), specifically referencing Matthew 10:29, “Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father” (p.137). In context, the Biblical passage counsels all caught in the confusion of mortal sophistries to “fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell… [T]he very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows” (King James, Matthew 10:28-32). Although Hamlet’s life is set in a time when it was popular to discount the reality of God or eternal existence, Shakespeare weaves into his drama the sorrow, fear, and doubt such beliefs cause, while still depicting the pervasive truth extant throughout the culture of English literature, particularly the fact that life continues beyond the grave. The same questions even now, in the time of internet-information-overload remain urgently unanswered for some, with similar confusion. Each mortal must, as Hamlet, reconcile their questions with the truth available, and seek answers for self.   

Works Cited

The Bible. Authorized King James Version, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2013, https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/10?lang=eng

Shakespeare, William, and Sylvan Barnet. Four Great Tragedies: Hamlet, Othello, King Lear, Macbeth. New York, NY, Signet, 1982.

HOLLYHOCK DOLLS

It’s early spring here in Washington and I’m antsy for flowers.

The tulips and daffodils have tips peeking out on the sunny side of the house, but for now I must be content with memories.

Flowers create lasting memories.

 Were you ever teased that you liked butter when a dandelion was held under your chin or by your cheek so that a yellow glow appeared? If you haven’t played that old game be sure to try it with the first dandelions of spring.

Grandma Ames 'dandelion' vase

And surely you’ve made flower chains or crowns!

Children from the past made dolls with hollyhock flowers; they are simple, and no tools are necessary.  At one time these flower were found in almost every garden.

Perhaps your own grandmother (or other ancestors) grew hollyhocks. They are so common and so ancient that hollyhocks have been found buried with a Neanderthal man. 

My mother taught me to make Hollyhock dolls, and says she learned it from her mother. I asked grandma who taught her how to make them. She replied, "everyone knows how to make them - anyone could have [taught me]."

But that was a very long time ago . . .

So—perhaps  you have never made a hollyhock doll.
But ask your grandmother – maybe she did!

Some may wonder when it would be useful to know how to make a doll from flowers—trust me on this one.  It ranks next to dandelions and butter for charm, and dandelions are charming – right?

I think we’ve all blown dandelion seeds!

Children love hollyhock dolls, AND guys—listen carefully—it is a great way to impress and flirt with most girls.

Hollyhocks are a biennial, and reseed readily.

With even limited water, they grow flowering spikes 6-8 feet (or more) in height,
 and many in colors, sizes and varieties.

Hollyhocks grew near pioneer cabins and dugouts because they survive in poor soils with little care.
One of their common names is “alley orchid.”   They are also tolerant of frost and heat, and all parts of the plant are edible, as well as useful medicinally .

In the past, a bucket of water (carried from a stream or pumped by hand from a carefully primed well), had many uses. Water could be precious, with every drop doled out carefully.

After washing dishes, that water could be used to clean boots or scrub a floor. After water became so dirty it was 'almost mud,' then vegetables were watered, and lastly flowers—often hollyhocks.

To make dolls you need 2 kinds of blooms.

A fully open bloom for a 'skirt' - larger is better - after all we want a 'full' skirt – right ladies? (wink).
But if you want a more narrow skirt pick a bloom that isn’t opened as far - use your imagination.

Notice bud at top middle right

For the head or ‘bonnet’ use a smaller tighter bud.

Notice buds have 2 layers of green around the base of the flower just above the stem (see above photo). Peel away the greens, being careful to not damage the bud or deeper petal layers, and look for a small hole.

removing first green layer

 You may worry something could fall apart - don't worry so much - it won't—

The layers pop right off (with only the guidance of a thumbnail).

Here is a close-up so you can see it coming apart

Remove the second layer of green, and hidden underneath, several indentations are visible at the base of the petals.

If you can’t see a little hole in the middle yet, that’s OK— use your fingernail to remove a tiny bit more of the white soft part in the very center of the flat 'base.’

Note indentations by base of petals - these will be eyes

Right in the middle, there will be a tiny little hole.

Position the stem of the 'skirt' to go into the 'head.’ If the stem is too long it may resist pushing into the hole. Shorten it a tiny bit to make it stiffer.

Skirt stem above is too long, Adjust as needed. Shorter a little bit is stiffer. 

Gently push the stem of the 'skirt' into the small hole in the bud until they are pressed snugly together.

Never use dangerously pointed objects to poke holes or hold these together.
That is entirely unnecessary.

The sap from the plant acts like a seal.
This will also keep them fresh.
I have left these in the sun several hours and they were not wilted.

OHH! Look!

A dolly with eyes, a green collar, and a huge headdress!

 Sometimes we pinched off or added on other flower parts for aprons, bustles etc.

Curious oddities can give unique personalities.

See this bustle from leaves that haven't separated

Imagination is the key ingredient here.

That’s it!!
That’s all there is to it.
Simple.

And no tools are needed.

Give it a try this summer.

HAPPY IMAGINING!

HONESTY AND INTEGRITY

In accounting class this week we are asked to explain success and post a business motto.

The assignment states,

"Topic Lesson 10 (Chapter 11):

Many companies have mission statements that outline their values and objectives. They describe desires to provide the best service or products possible, to do so in a competent and trustworthy manner, to provide a superior value to customers, and so forth. Most often, these mission statements are framed nicely and hung in the reception area of the company’s headquarters where they do little more than provide an attractive decoration on the wall.

The 13th article of faith states: “We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul-We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”

Consider this as a personal mission statement for your career or business dealings. Ponder various aspects and post your thoughts about how it could make you more successful or prosperous. How do you define success?

What are the strengths of the 13th Article of Faith as a mission statement for your occupation? What are its limitations? If you were to write your own mission statement, what would it say?"

I answered:

"The 13^th Article of Faith would look terrific done in word art or calligraphy in the popular styles of today.

For example it could be cleverly arranged in groups of vinyl word phrases as a focal wall in the reception area. I think it would be a business draw—perhaps a bit ‘in your face,’ but why not?

It would make a bold declaration to anyone and everyone regarding personal morals, and the kind of integrity expected of and in the company and of its employees, as well as its expectation of its customers. Believing in the good in people encourages them to exemplify the good they know is expected of them.

What would you think if you walked into an office and this was wall sized staring back at you? 

Artsy people can make my 5 minute image fantastic and arrange it to fit any size and shape of wall but I imagined it down a tall narrow wall, mostly useless for anything else except just being an element of architecture.

This mission statement would turn that spot into a business proposition and conversation piece. It might even become a draw.The limitations of any motto or statement involve the people implementing the goals of the statement. The things that motivate an individual, and the effort he or she is willing to expend in pursuing any specific accomplishment defines the parameters of success or failure.
My personal motto would be Elder Dube’s (of the Seventy) October 2013 instruction, 
“Look Ahead, and Believe.” We must always be aware of and looking toward the future, while believing the best and working toward it. 

Some definitions of success mean to finish something perfectly or completely. Success for me personally is making my best effort (but as President Hinckley quipped it has to be “my very best”) to complete a particular goal or assignment."

WALK IN TRUTH

Assignment:

Read 3 John 1:1–11. Write a brief comparison between the actions of Gaius and Diotrephes.

 

Read the institute student manual Points to Ponder section, “Disobedience to Priesthood Authority” (p.441). List some of the results that come to those who criticize the leaders of the Church. 

Read Alma 39:11. What influence could Gaius’s and Diotrephes’s examples have on others?

When we serve others we follow Christ’s example. When we assist, support, and welcome the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints into our lives and homes we also welcome the Savior into our lives and homes. It is the same as if we have done those things for Him. When we reject them we also reject him.

Gaius received and gave shelter, food, and other support to not only the leaders of the church in his time, but also to others that likewise needed his help. In an opposite contrast, “Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth [them] not” (3 John 1:9), and spoke out publicly in “malicious words” against John and others. Diotrephes  “not content therewith, neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church” (3 John 1:10).

When we rebel against the leaders God has called we need to remember that in doing so we rebel against God himself.  From our student manual we learn Brigham Young said, “You cannot destroy the appointment of a prophet of God, but you can cut the thread that binds you to the prophet of God, and sink yourselves to hell.’”

And also that President Harold B Lee taught: “Those who criticize the leaders of this Church are showing signs of a spiritual sickness which, unless curbed, will bring about eventually spiritual death. I want to bear my testimony as well that those who in public seek by their criticism, to belittle our leaders or bring them into disrepute, will bring upon themselves more hurt than upon those whom they seek thus to malign. …” (in CR, Oct. 1947, p. 67.)

So how do we invite the leaders of the church into our homes and lives today?

free Calendar templates

What about in our Wards and Stake? Do we participate in Ward and Stake activities? When the Stake President speaks in Stake Conference do we write down his invitations to change, repent, or other ways he may ask us to serve God by serving those in our stake and our fellowmen? And do we act on those invitations?

Moses Lake, WA Stake Center

Do we listen to the Bishop (or his counselors and auxiliary leaders), counsel with him, and sincerely support the decisions he makes in our Ward?

Do we accept assignments cheerfully and then follow through and complete those assignments?

Do we visit those we are assigned to Home Teach or Visiting Teach every month? Are we sincerely concerned for their welfare?

The New Testament manual quotes President James E. Faust (1920–2007) of the First Presidency cautioning: “There is a certain arrogance in thinking that any of us may be more spiritually intelligent, more learned, or more righteous than the councils called to preside over us. Those councils are more in tune with the Lord than any individual person they preside over” (Finding Light in a Dark World [1995], 121).

President Thomas S. Monson

We believe a prophet lives on earth today.
Do we study his words and implement them?

Do we subscribe to the Ensign so we have access in our home to the monthly messages and teachings of the apostles and prophets? 

Do we access those teachings at all? 

The teachings are instantly available on digital devices anywhere and anytime. Do we bother to peruse those messages? 

Do we regularly review and study the General Conference messages? 

And do we keep our lives and homes in order and prepared to welcome any visitor that needs our hospitality? If the prophet visited our stake and asked to come have a nap at our house for an hour would he feel at ease and rest? And would we? What if it were the Temple President, or the Mission President, or one of their family members? 

Would we be prepared to offer them food or lodging, even if very simply? 

What if it is just another member of the church passing through our area?

Apparently Gaius “doest faithfully whatsoever thou doest to the brethren, and to strangers” (3 John 1:5). When we love and serve in this way we follow the example of kindness established by Jesus Christ to help our fellow men, particularly our own family members, and members of the church.

The example of our actions influences others to believe in Christ, and the words of his servants, or may detract from their redeeming message.

And I must come in and edit this post: Minutes after publishing this assignment my Relief Society President sent a group text to the sisters in our ward (that have available cell phones) asking for someone to feed our threesome of Elders this week beginning on Sunday. I kind of hoped Sunday would be taken quickly, it is my only day to myself and my only real chance to visit with family and do family history etc. It is also the only day we have time to feed the missionaries. Sunday was available. This Sunday I will spend the afternoon preparing to feed three hungry young men. And this Friday my husband will clean the house while I finish my assignments.

Writing about, and expounding principles is simple, but do my actions align?

Every day is a choice!